Recently one of my junior advisors asked how I deal with stress. I told her that staying healthy and in shape helps tremendously. She wanted to know what my workout routine looks like so I thought I’d share it for anyone who is looking to get in shape. Remember, I’m not a doctor (although I will occasionally play one on campus) so be sure to check with your physician before attempting.
1. Wake up before the alarm because you were dreaming about the Provost calling you into his office and then pulling a hoodie over his head and a light saber from his belt, yelling that the enrollment numbers are down.
2. Wipe grit out of eyes and gulp water because you are parched from too many shots of tequila with the Dean of Liberal Arts in a Shakespearean drinking game.
3. Slowly put on layers of clothing starting with long johns.
4. Do pre-walk warm-up via scraping off intricate ice designs on your windshield.
5. Arrive at destination and reluctantly leave the luxury of semi-warm car.
6. Step out into the bone-chilling wind and try to breathe through the icicles that have accumulated on the end of your nose.
7. Head up the mountain in a sprint or brisk walk, depending on cold and level of energy.
8. Look for chupacabra and Big Foot tracks amidst blurry eyes from tears streaming coldly down your face.
9. Ponder how those tiny pebbles always end up in your shoes even though you have them tied tight enough to cut off circulation to your feet.
10. Breathe heavily.
11. Wonder if this was a bad idea.
12. Make it to the clearing at the top that looks as if aliens may have landed there and determine that you have reached the optimum heart rate aka your pulse is thrumming like students running to free food on campus.
13. Drop to the ground and begin descent by rolling, hopefully avoiding cactus and large rocks.
13.5 Congratulate yourself on another successful workout and contemplate how
many cups of tea it will take to enable to begin coherent speech.
Mo Solo is an advisor with the Imperial University. She may or may not be related to Han Solo. Ms. Solo enjoys tequila, practicing with her light saber (although not after drinking tequila), and saving (or trying to) the world from sourpusses at mosoloadvisor.tumblr.com. She has a monkey (named Monkey) for a sidekick and often collaborates with her colleague, Morgan O’Donnell, on a variety of projects.
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